My numerous attempts to write this short reflection brought me to the conclusion that the highs and lows of my year play back like a tired radio hit. Yet despite cliche after cliche of failures and woeful frustrations, I am struck with an overwhelming sense of gratefulness as I reflect upon this past year. Truly, what began as a year of disappoint has become a year redeemed by God. How I prove Him o’er and o’er!
The beginning of the year shoved before me a lavish serving of humble pie–and never have I been so unenthusiastic about pie! From lacking direction, to being torn between two coasts, to becoming trapped in a tumultuous and draining job, to endless job-hunting, I was tossed and turned about in a storm that I could not control. My work ethic, people-skills, and resilient will were not enough, and I was forced to realize that I was exhausted and disappointed in my prideful routine of maintaining an image of “perfection”.
As I write this, I am a (relatively) new resident of North Hollywood, CA. I finally decided to stay on the West Coast for this current season of my life and am extremely grateful for the peace that I have in my decision and the wonderful community and church that God has blessed me with. I am exploring the area (okay, really just the best burger restaurants around town) and am learning to call Los Angeles my home (away from home). I am heading up the marketing for a feature documentary (coming to theaters 2013!) and am enjoying the flexibility and creativity of also freelancing on the side. While I must admit that I am always looking five or ten years down the road in my career, I am also constantly reminded of God’s faithfulness. Most importantly, God is giving me a deeper understanding of humility and trust as He continues to patiently grow and lead me. O for grace to trust Thee more!
I write these things, not because I found a magic potion that fixed everything, nor because I finally “got out of a rut”. No, this year bears testimony to the handiwork of my Redeemer–and I am overwhelmingly grateful.
He restores my soul.